A tiny essay: I knew then. And I know now.

Seeing Zaila Avant-garde win the 2021 spelling bee championships in the US earlier this month brought a memory back to me. That memory was of one of the first times that I remember doubting myself.

C-O-L-O-N-E-L. I knew how to spell colonel. That was the word that my teacher had asked me to spell, but before I began, we were briefly interrupted by someone coming into the classroom to ask a question. By the time she came back to me, I had convinced myself that it wasn't spelt that way, but another.  So, I went with that spelling, and I lost. It's interesting that this has come back to me as a reminder of the first time that I went against that gut knowing. 

I assured myself that what I knew couldn't be right.

I think I was maybe about eight. That's how young this stuff starts.

I knew then. And I know now. A tiny example of other things I have known, but not acted on. 

C-O-L-O-N-E-L.