Let’s start from the beginning then. Why RemindHers?
They say it takes thirty days to make a habit. With diligence, frequency and consistency required in spades.
If it takes thirty days to build a habit then, what could twenty or thirty years of habitually talking down to, accepting and following the rules set out for us by our socio-economic and cultural forbearers have done to us? We’re up against decades of falsehoods that have become so familiar, they are our truths. Unhelpful, fear-driven modes of being, getting in the way of the things we want to do, and the things we really know to be true.
But though covered up under layers of bullshit, we never really forget that which is true for us. Truth has sat there, intrinsically and quietly within us all along.
But to get to it, to excavate it, we need frequent reminders with the same diligence, frequency and consistency that give that intrinsic thing within us a mouthpiece to talk back to the learned inner monologue that makes us doubt, put off, shy away. The voice that critiques, surrounds us with shoulds, and keeps us small. The now instinctive voice that left uninhibited, can run rampant around our minds.
Over on Instagram, I write about living with self-doubt, but learning to be led by self-trust. I have learnt though, that if we are to make this shift, there must also be an increase in our autonomy, the priority we afford ourselves, and a change in the way we talk to and work with ourselves. It’s easy to ignore what that guttural instinct says when we don’t consider ourselves to be the authority and sole governing body responsible for our lives.
What we know, is hidden when we deny our desires.
What we know in the first instance, is pushed aside when we second-guess ourselves.
When we sacrifice and downplay and practice selflessness to the extreme, we perpetually tell ourselves that we matter less. We are less. We’ll do what we want after. Next time. One day.
I have seen glimpses of wonder when women remember who they are, what they want and what they’re capable of.
And while frankly, I think it's bollocks that we have to practice unlearning things that should never have been instilled in us in the first place, here we are, resilient AF, being awesome humans in spite of it all.
So that's it. That's my why with these letters.
To hopefully bring words that are a tonic to you and help me to exhibit a tiny wisp of the wonder I see in others. A real life example of tiny steps of self-belief, as they're being taken in real time. Having finally pressed send, I'll leave you with the words that have become somewhat of a mantra over on Frank+Feel: "Though we doubt, we do."